I know what you’re thinking. “She’s the most famous person in the world right now. How could anyone hate her?” That’s the thing. Cyrus has become an Idol for girls around the world. What most people don’t know (but probably do now) is that Miley Cyrus is a spoiled whore. It has been proven that Miley Cyrus is now more famous than Orson Welles. Which means that we have come to a world where more people watch Disney Channel then read. Sad, ain’t it? The first Cyrus controversy happened when pictures of her in her underwear and pajama top were leaked on the internet. It became worse when “dirty” photos of her sharing a piece of candy with her friend mouth-to-mouth. Are people really freaking out about this? Her name became most recognized when her so-called “nude” photo shoot for Vanity Fair was released. Jesus Christ almighty all you see is her back. Now, recently photos were leaked of her taking a shower. WITH HER SHIRT ON. Really? Your getting pissed off about that when there’s fucking starvation in africa and a war in Iraq. When the world comes to more people worrying about “controversial” pictures instead of the stuff that really matters, there’s only 13 words you need to know: Miley Cyrus Is A Rotten Slut Who No One Should Look Up To. Girls, she’s not as glamorous and awesome as you think she is. Hate to break it to you, but it’s time to put a stop to this. Besides, Hannah Montana? Really? Horrible name. I’d be Protozoa Arizona but that’s just me. So, my final word is this: Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana, whatever you wanna call her. She’s not who you think she is. There. I said it. Kill me if you disagree.
Sorry Stone Sour. We Tried. You just weren’t good enough. Anyway, 30/30 150 has been replaced with USE THE MAN as hand-made by MEGADETH on PTGCDECBAHBRGD. Just remember that. July 21st
The top 40 hits right now suck. For the most part anyway. We used to buy those crappy Now That’s What I Call Music CDs, until they started getting bad and they were Now That’s What I Call Music… That Makes You Want To Stick Hundreds Of Needles Into Your Eyes. EVERY SONG SOUNDS THE SAME THESE DAYS. In this event, me and Theo have created a project we call “Possibly The Greatest CD Ever Compiled By A Human Being, Robot, Ghost, Or Dog: A Project To Save Music And Destroy Radio.” 17 Tracks of pure, epic, awesome brutality. This great sandwich of rock will be released on July 21st, but here’s an early track list:
1. TIE MY ROPE as shredded by CHILDREN OF BODOM
2. KICK (REMIX) as technologically inserted into your brainwaves by JAMES EURINGER
3. PIONEERS as rocked into your soul by BLOC PARTY
4. HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES as killed all music in your memory by ROB ZOMBIE
5. DEATH BLOOMS as screamed into your eardrums by MUDVAYNE
6. 30/30 150 as educationally slaughtered by STONE SOUR
7. BUBBLES as popped, locked, and dropped by SYSTEM OF A DOWN
8. MUSIC IS MY HOT HOT SEX as blown up by CSS
9. COME TOGETHER as covered and darkened by SOUNDGARDEN
10. PUNKBITCH as shot into your kneecaps by 3OH!3
11. RIGHT HERE IN MY ARMS as exploded into your snot particles by HIM
12. DO YOU STILL HATE ME? as loved by JAWBREAKER
13. NIGHTMARE as brutally shattered by DRY KILL LOGIC
14. I AM THE WALRUS as covered and drugged up by JIM CARREY
15. FEEL LIKE MAKIN’ LOVE as covered and shouted by KID ROCK
16. LOVE ME SEXY as danced and drilled by WILL FERREL (as JACKIE MOON)
17. DAY OF THE BAPHOMETS as epically proportioned and told in the style of pure rock godness by none other than the men who make it work, THE MARS VOLTA
Again, this compilation will not be released until July 21st, but you can get a free download of NIGHTMARE from roadrunnerrecords.com
You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if all the girls I knew weren’t made of complete shit.
Theo finally here. Well, i hate TV. Most of it anyway. All channels suck and all shows suck that basically aren’t on Comedy Central, [adult swim], and G4. If I were to give $20 to these people, I would. So me and Ronnie wanna thank:
The Comedy Central Team:
Matt Stone (South Park)
Trey Parker (South Park)
The [adult swim] Team
Dana Snyder (ATHF)
Matt Maliero (ATHF)
Tim Heidecker (TGTTM & TAEAS, GJ!)
Eric Warehiem (TGTTM & TAEAS, GJ!)
Seth Green (Robot Chicken)
Matt Seinreich (Robot Chicken)
H. Jon Benjamin (LDOTD & Home Movies)
Brendon Small (Home Movies & Metalocalypse)
The G4 Team
Kevin Prierra (sorry Kevin. We’ll get your name right later.) (AOTS)
Olivia Munn (AOTS)
Alison Hayslip (AOTS)
Layla Kayleigh (AOTS)
Chris Hardwick (AOTS)
Morgan Webb (XPLAY)
Adam Sessler (XPLAY)
Kristen Holt (XPLAY & Cheat!)
This post is in memory of George Carlin
There’s seven words you can’t say on television:
I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR GEORGE CARLIN
it’s illegal
you will get shot
for saying that
I was recently watching my SNL Best Of Dana Carvey DVD and noticed something crappy. I was watching the “Wayne’s World Top 10 Reasons We’re Bummed Communism Fell” sketch and discovered that they get through reasons 10-2, then the sketch fades out before they reveal 1. So I started using Google. But like always, the internet sucks and there’s no site that has a listing. So if you know #1 or know a place where I can see it, please reply with a comment. Another incident I ran into was when I was watching the “PTV” episode of Family Guy on WGN, and they completely cut the “Douchebags” bit. Editing really sucks.
Ronnie here. I hate those stupid-ass AAC encoded or”copy-protected” CDs. I recently bought the extended edition of Mindless Self Indulgence’s “You’ll Rebel To Anything,” and the stupid thing doesn’t even show up on my computer, nor my iTunes. So, because music industry sucks ass, I’ve been spending the past 2 days searching How To Import Copy-Protected CDs into iTunes. Hasn’t worked out so far. Got any ideas? Post one in a blog.
Welcome. We are Ronnie & Theo. START is a program about stuff that pisses us off. Every week we’ll have a new topic. Starts in May.
